Who Has Your Back?

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you are carrying the world on your shoulders and it is all just becoming a little too heavy?  You know you are strong, but man are you exhausted!  Your Mum is having an argument with your Aunty so of course you will be there to lend a shoulder – 4 times in one night.  Your best friend is having a tough time as a new Mum so you will absolutely whip her up some meals and stop by to tidy up and give her a break.  Work is off the hook and you won’t think twice about staying back tonight, again.

Speaking of tonight, you better message your cousin and let her know that you will be late picking up your niece for dancing, but still, you said you would do it so you will.  Somewhere in amongst all that crazy you need to find time to cook dinner, spend some quality time with your child and chat about their school day, and of course check in with hubby for a cuddle and to see how his day was.  Oh, and perhaps you need to shower, eat and sit for 5 minutes… Until someone needs you that is!

Life can be busy, right?  It can be demanding, and it can be exhausting.  I think sometimes as women, as Moms, as friends, partners and employees, we want to help everyone.  Occasionally we may feel obligated to do so, but more often it is because we care.  We genuinely want to be there to let people know we have their back, to share some of their burden, make them smile and lighten their load. But, who has your back?  Maybe you have a special friend or family member that ‘gets’ you and is there when you need them too.  But maybe you don’t?  Then what?  You NEED someone to have your back.  You need someone to keep you grounded and to support you.  Sometimes that person needs to be YOU.  Yes, YOU!

Most of us have become proficient at physically supporting ourselves, but we often neglect taking care of ourselves emotionally.  Here are some quick tips for those times when you are emotionally exhausted and need to look within for support.

• Think about what you so willingly do for others, and ensure you give yourself the same gifts – asking questions, listening and validating feelings are a great place to start.
• Know that it is okay to say no or share the load. In the nature of wanting to help others or even avoiding conflict, we often say yes yes yes, even when we desperately want to say no.  How does that make you feel deep inside?  What message is it sending to yourself?
• Stop and take some time for you. Immerse yourself in music, the ocean, a solo lunch date, meditation – whatever clears your mind and fills your soul with love.  Don’t forget to breathe.  Sometimes a few long deep breaths can change your whole day!
• Remember we all have limits. Respect yours, and don’t supersede them for the sake of preserving someone else’s.  You are no good to anyone if you push yourself past breaking point!

You are a beautiful glimmering light.  Do not let the weight of the world dull your sparkle beautiful.  Support you first and foremost.  Have you own back.  Then, and only then, let the overflow of your bright spark filter into others’ lives.