My path to self-love wasn’t ever straightforward or easy. I struggled with self love for years before realizing my worth and that I was worthy of love. Yet, the type of love I was worthy of wasn’t quite clear to me. In time, I developed a better understanding as I learned that love comes in many forms.
There are also a few types that we commonly think of when we talk about love. There’s unconditional love, where you accept a person completely and choose to love them despite their imperfections. There’s lust, the sometimes precursor to love, with its chocolate-covered idealism wrapped up in a red velvet bow. There’s also unrequited love, which can induce a devastatingly painful feeling in the depths of the heart. In time, I became very familiar with all three and discovered a fourth.
From the highs of lust to the lows of unrequited love to the soft and steady murmur of unconditional love, I’ve learned one very important lesson:
Everyone is worthy of healthy and happy relationships.
Most importantly, I understand now that I am worthy of healthy and happy relationships. And so are you.
The fourth type of love and the one that will make up your longest relationship, is the love you have for yourself. In order for any of the other types of love to work, you must first love yourself. Sometimes this is the hardest relationship to be in.
We are all imperfect, but it is our imperfections that make us unique.
Everything about you is uniquely and beautifully you and you are worthy of love.
Self-love isn’t a promise of future love. It’s not about deciding you’ll love yourself after you’ve lost 15 pounds, received a promotion at work, or discovered a youth serum.
Self-love is hard because we fight it.
We may make excuses about why we can’t love ourselves. We see self-love as a destination. Self-love is a journey and it exists in the present. It only works when you consciously choose to love yourself, as you are, each day.
Self-love also has a direct connection to self-worth.
How you treat yourself determines how you will allow others to treat you.
Your sense of self-worth is at the very core of this. Accepting and loving yourself is sometimes easier said than done, but you can absolutely do it every single day.
No matter how you’re feeling at the moment, whether you love yourself completely or you’re not quite there yet, here are some great daily practices for self-love:
1. Surround yourself with positive people.
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Negative people can bring down your mood and negatively influence your opinion of yourself. Consciously make an effort to spend time with positive people who support you and want you to be successful.
If you have a family member or friend that doesn’t treat you well, remember that you can determine the terms of your personal relationships. In most cases, you get to choose the amount of time and energy you want to put into negative relationships, if any at all.
If you have a negative co-worker, consider having a conversation with them. Maybe they’re going through something personal, but taking out their frustrations on you. If you do have a conversation and can’t reach civility, try to find at least one good thing about that person and focus on that quality. Keeping that redeeming quality in mind will make working with them a little easier.
2. Be kind to yourself and to others.
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Sometimes we may feel we don’t have time to take care of ourselves. We might shorten a morning routine so we have an extra 10 minutes of sleep or neglect going to the gym because time with our children and families fills up our day. No matter what, we have 24 hours each day to spend however we choose.
It’s so important to make it a priority to take time and be kind to yourself each day.
It’s also important to be kind to others. You may not know what they’re going through. A little kindness can go a long way and completely turn someone’s day around.
3. Always say “thank you”.
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Even if you don’t feel that you are worthy of the compliment, know that you are every bit deserving. Their compliment reflects their view of you, so it’s ok if you don’t share that view.
If you’re unsure how to accept the compliment, practice saying “thank you”. In time, just by saying “thank you”, you’ll stop doubting the kind words and start accepting their truth!
And if you’re already comfortable with accepting compliments, bravo! I challenge you to make it a daily practice to compliment others!
4. Treat yourself.
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Make it a priority to do things that make you feel special and valued. It could be something as small as making an indulgent cup of coffee or as grand as taking a vacation. Just make sure to treat yourself as often as you can. You deserve it!
5. Examine your values.
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Do you feel like you’re not successful enough, not pretty enough, or just not good enough? STOP. You are successful, beautiful, and amazing just as you are. Even if I am the only person telling you this today, I hope you believe it because it’s true!
If you’re comparing yourself to others, you’re limiting yourself. So try to stop comparing yourself to others. There’s enough room for everyone to be the best version of themselves.
What’s stopping you from being your best self, right now?
6. Practice gratitude and happiness daily.
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We all have moments of frustration, sadness, and irritability. It’s ok if you have to “practice” happiness and gratitude! It’s also important to regularly take time to thank the people in your life who you’re thankful for! Who are you going to thank today?
Speaking of gratitude, have you entered our Gratitude Is PowHERFul giveaway yet? We’re giving away a dream vacation! Head over to https://blog.parfaitlingerie.com/gratitude/ to enter for a chance to win!
Which self-love practices do you practice daily? Tell us in the comments below!