The Day We Stripped Off In Nature! PART 2
Photographer: Morgan Parremore
Meltdown. Complete and utter meltdown. I had just been sent through a link to the photos taken during a photoshoot of myself and a group of my beautiful friends in our underwear. We had such an amazing experience doing the shoot and left feeling empowered, calm and happy. The following morning, I woke and immediately recognised that I had a lot of feelings coming up that I had not really been expecting. Just 12 hours earlier I was on top of the world and confident that I was going to love what I saw when we got the pictures back. Well, I apparently had not accounted for self-doubt and some very heavy feelings that lay dormant deep inside. I am no model – at least I don’t look like any I have ever seen! Who was I to have such vulnerable pictures taken of myself? Like lots of women, I am on my own wellness journey and am not yet where I would like to physically be, so what message is that sending to people? And now that I was experiencing all these feelings I felt like a damn fraud! A hypocrite! Hello inner mean girl – we meet again… And I hadn’t even opened the link yet!
Photographer: Morgan Parremore
After sitting with the unopened link, and my feelings, for a little while I hesitantly opened the pictures. I should have known better. When I recognised all that ‘stuff’ coming up before I even opened the link, I should have taken a step back and waited until I worked through some of those thoughts and feelings before checking out the photos – but I didn’t. I was immediately drawn to all the parts of myself that I have worked so hard to embrace. Before I could even think about it, I was starting to pick myself to pieces! What had I done? Why did I organise this? Why did I organise this!? That was the perfect question to ask myself in that moment, but I was feeling too vulnerable and resistant to even think about it. I closed the link and walked away. For the rest of the day I felt so uneasy. I was disappointed with my reaction. I felt guilty and ashamed, despite all the while trying my hardest not to judge my feelings! There were even tears. I was so torn…The next morning, I woke and turned to my journal. Why did I organise the photoshoot? I organised the shoot because I am passionate about self-love. I want to be an advocate of normalising normal bodies. I believe all women are beautiful. I believe I am beautiful, even when a lifetime of self-doubt creeps up and kicks me in the butt. And that is exactly what happened when I first opened the photos. After getting some thoughts out on paper, I went back to the link and opened it up again. This time I saw pure beauty. Raw, real, stunning beauty. I stared at the images of these beautiful women, my friends, in the photos and my heart felt like it was literally bursting with love. Do they know how gorgeous they are? Do they see the beautiful shiny light that radiates from within them? Wow, just wow!
Photographer: Morgan Parremore
The next morning, I woke and turned to my journal. Why did I organise the photoshoot? I organised the shoot because I am passionate about self-love. I want to be an advocate of normalising normal bodies. I believe all women are beautiful. I believe I am beautiful, even when a lifetime of self-doubt creeps up and kicks me in the butt. And that is exactly what happened when I first opened the photos. After getting some thoughts out on paper, I went back to the link and opened it up again. This time I saw pure beauty. Raw, real, stunning beauty. I stared at the images of these beautiful women, my friends, in the photos and my heart felt like it was literally bursting with love. Do they know how gorgeous they are? Do they see the beautiful shiny light that radiates from within them? Wow, just wow!
Photographer: Morgan Parremore
I scrolled down to the pictures of myself that I struggled with the day before. As soon as I laid my eyes on them, the tears started again. But these tears were different… How could I look at these pictures and feel anything but love for them? They were me. My body, complete with oodles of stretchmarks, cellulite and extra padding is extraordinary. Like, crazy extraordinary! It always has my back, even after years and year of disordered behaviour. It does really hard things, including growing and nourishing a baby. The woman inside that body – she is pretty rad. Her body, as amazing as it is, does not define her. She is kind, she loves whole heartedly, and she is honest – even in the moments she struggles to implement what she believes so deeply. Thank goodness, they are so very few and far between nowadays! She is determined to inspire and empower as many women as she can, to accept, love and celebrate themselves for all that they are, exactly as they are. She also thinks you should get some sisters together, grab a camera and embrace yourself!
