The world is a hard place. Make no mistakes about that. I don’t need to sit here and list all the things that are wrong with it. You already know. What you may not know, though, is that you could be making things a whole load harder for yourself. If you practice any of the following eight harmful habits, you need to stop pronto.
Sometimes in life, things go wrong. As much as we’d like the world to be made of sunshine and butterflies all year around, it’s just not the case. Whether it’s losing your purse or falling out with your gal pal, we all have these little mishaps that ruin our day. The key here is not to let those things end up ruining your year as well.
When we catastrophize, we tend to take an ‘all or nothing’ attitude. That is to say if one thing’s bad then everything is bad. So, for example, if you lose your purse, you might internally scold yourself for being so ditzy and tell yourself that this is something that you always do, whether that’s the case or not. It’s making mountain out of a molehill.
2. Fixating On The Past
The past is gone. It’s never coming back… no matter what you do. While we can’t always forget the things that have happened to us, we can move on and grow from them. Spending minutes, hours, days thinking about how things should have played out is not helpful. What’s more, fixating in this way is likely to bring you down and make you feel as though the present isn’t worth anything. While it may be hard to move on, you absolutely have to do your best to do so. Forgive. Forget. Move forward.
3. Worrying About What People Think
When you’re in the midst of feeling anxious and self-conscious, you may well believe that the whole world is staring at you. Often enough, we walk around with the shadow of what people think of us casting over us. It’s not healthy. Plus, the truth of the matter is that people often don’t think badly of us at all. Most likely, they hardly give us or our lives all that much thought. Remember, people are wrapped up in their own existence (as they should be) so you don’t need to worry what they think.
4. Thinking Negative Thoughts About Ourselves
We’ve all been there. For whatever reason, you’re down on yourself and there’s nothing (you think) you can do to stop it. When you start thinking negatively about yourself, it affects pretty much everything you do. Soon enough, you will start believing your own nonsense. So, if you keep telling yourself that you’re a terrible person who is unworthy of love, eventually that will become a core belief. That kind of thinking can seriously mess you up, but there is something you can do about it. Cut. It. Out.
5. Believing One Fail Makes Us A Failure
Life is full of little ups and downs. You could say that’s what makes it so very interesting. You could also say that that’s what makes it hard to handle. Sometimes, we all get something wrong and, yes, fail at something. It’s not a nice feeling, but hey, we’ve all been there. The trick here is to make sure that this one small issue doesn’t become a metaphor for how you are as a person. If you start to believe that you’re a failure, you will eventually stop trying the things that challenge you. If you want to succeed, you have to keep trying.
6. Regretting Choices We’ve Made
If I had a cent for every stupid decision I’d made, I could probably go ahead and put a down payment on my first house. Yes, we all make mistakes. Whether it’s forgetting to buy someone a birthday present or getting a little too tipsy at a party and making a fool of ourselves, the best of us have been there. While regret serves to stop us making the same mistakes twice, it can also be a huge pain in the behind. Forgiving yourself when you mess up is quite possibly one of the kindest things you can do.
7. Comparing Our Lives/Bodies/Jobs To Others
Trust me, the grass is so not always greener on the other side of the fence. Sure, it may appear that everyone else has the perfect job, the perfect partner, and the perfect life, but that’s likely not the case. And even if it is, comparing your own life, partner, and life to them is not going to make any difference whatsoever. It’s only going to make you feel bad which is not helpful at all. Instead, you need to focus on yourself because, frankly, that’s what matters the most here.
8. Trying To Please Everyone All The Time
Try as you might, you really can’t please everyone in your life. You’ve likely heard it all before, but how much of it have you really taken on board? In all honesty, sometimes, people ask things of you that you just can’t give. Whether it’s an over the top friend who wants all your time or a boss who demands that you work overtime, you need to learn to say no for your own good. Remember, sometimes, you have to please yourself before you can please anyone else.